Now that you’re planning a wedding, your Google search history is going to fill up with things like, “How to address an invitation to two doctors?” Or, “Is 15 minutes too short for a wedding ceremony?” It’s amazing how many obscure questions can pop up during this process. From writing your own wedding vows to rules on inviting (or not inviting) children to your wedding, Jacy Mullings of Weddings By Stardust is here to help by getting you answers to some of the most popular etiquette questions, and more!

Photo // Ryan O’Dowd Photography

How long is a typical ceremony?

It truly depends on the type of ceremony you are having. For most secular and Christian ceremonies, they tend to last between 20 and 30 minutes from the time of the processional (the walk down the aisle) to the time of the recessional (the walk up the aisle after being pronounced). For other religious ceremonies, such as Catholic, Jewish and Hindu, they could last between 45 minutes and one hour. 

What’s the proper processional order? What about the recessional?

There are many ways a processional can be composed depending on the family, attendants and any religious traditions. For a secular or traditional Christian processional, the officiant is often sent first, followed by family, wedding party, and then the bride and her escort last.

The groom’s side always precedes the bride’s, beginning with grandparents followed by parents. Unless you want your wedding party entering in as couples, the groom and groomsmen would typically enter at this point, with the bridesmaids entering single file, in reverse order, after them. The flower girl and/or ring bearer would be the last down the aisle before the bride.

Same-sex couples often like to enter a ceremony together or have both partners escorted in, but otherwise follow “traditional” processional and recessional guidelines.

What are the rules for inviting children to weddings?

Although there is no written rule for inviting or not inviting children, there are etiquette guidelines to follow when doing one or the other.

Making the decision to have children included or excluded from the wedding is up to the bride and groom and/or hosts of the wedding. If you choose to have children invited, you would include their names on the invitation envelopes (i.e. first line: Mr. and Mrs. John Smith; second line: Dylan and Katie OR simply address to “The John Smith Family”). To limit the number of children invited, you may choose to only invite the children of close family members and/or children of the wedding party.

By etiquette, the envelope dictates who is specifically invited, but if you are worried your guests will not get the memo, you can make a note of “Adults Only.” This would go on your details card in your invitation suite or on your wedding website since it is inappropriate for it to be written on your invitation. Whichever decision you all decide on, stay firm in it.

Can I walk down the aisle to any song I want or should it be more traditional?

If you are getting married at a church or house of worship, the selection of music may be limited since most religious sites forbid secular music and require their couples to use in-house musicians. If you are not having your ceremony at a place of worship, then you may select anything secular, classical, instrumental or recorded music for your walk down the aisle. Consider mixing traditional songs with instrumentals of pop music or classic love songs. Select things that are meaningful and have fun with it!

Where should immediate family sit?

Starting with the parents, the parents of the bride are seated on the left side of the front row with the mother in the center aisle seat and the father beside her. For the parents of the groom, it is reflected the same on the right side. In Jewish ceremonies, these sides are often reversed. If there are any divorces amongst the parents and new marriages or relationships, it is dependent on family dynamics where everyone would sit. If amicable relationships, they may all want to share the first row.

If there is any animosity, the mother would keep her seat in the first row and the father and partner would sit in the second row. Grandparents and siblings of the couple would be seated in the first row with other extended family seated in the remaining rows behind the parents of the couple. If a parent is widowed, then they have the option to choose a close family member or friend to sit next to them in their respective row.

Should we write our own vows?

This is another question to check with your officiant and/or ceremony site coordinator when planning your ceremony since most places of worship do not allow personal vows. For those ceremony sites that do allow them, now-a-days, more and more couples are writing their own. It elevates your ceremony by adding a more personal and emotional touch.

You get a chance to briefly tell your story and the reason you are standing in front of each other in that moment.

If you choose to write vows, I have two big pieces of advice. Be sure to really take the time to make it come from your heart. To try to put into words all the hopes, dreams and challenges you are excited to take on with your partner for the rest of your life in just a few short words is not an easy task.

Start the process early, take your vows through a few drafts and edits (and even verbal practice rounds!), and embrace the vulnerability that will become so cherished in the moment. It is an overwhelming process and can feel so much harder if you are on a time crunch.

Secondly, know and hold on to what you are vowing to. These are the commitments that you are verbalizing to your life-partner in front of all of your closest witnesses. As sweet as it is to promise the moon, it is more meaningful to give an actual commitment. This does not mean that all of your vows have to be heavy, you could still include bits of humor such as to always remember their favorite Starbucks order.

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A special thank you to Jacy Mullings of Weddings By StarDust for sharing all these amazing insights on wedding etiquette and how to make the day truly personalized to the couple. To learn more about how Weddings By StarDust can help you plan your dream wedding, contact them directly through their Brides of North Texas vendor profile.

Were you the kind of person who doodled your married name while you were in middle-school or is this a total surprise to you? Either way, we’re here to help simplify the process of changing your name in Texas — and help you go from Miss to Mrs. 

Whether you’re modern or traditional, there is something for everyone when it comes to name changes, from the simple switch to the hyphenated options, we’ve got you covered. 

Photo // Pharris Photography & Philms

How to Change Your Name 

Each state has their own laws about changing your married name. Fortunately for Texas brides, the state acknowledges a valid marriage certificate as proof of a name change. 

If you are hyphenating or switching your middle name to your maiden name, your process is slightly different. You will file a petition in a probate court in your county. (There are more details below.) 

 

How It Works

Fill in both your current legal name and the name you will be changing to after marriage on your Texas marriage license application. 

 

Alternative Name Change Processes 

If you are hyphenating, blending or switching your middle name, you will go through a court-ordered name change process. You will need to file a name change petition in state court in the county you live in. Visit the county courthouse office during regular weekday business hours to get your form. 

 

Getting Your Wedding License in Texas

Both you and your fiancé will need to go to the county clerk’s office during regular weekday business hours of 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Be sure to bring proof of identity and age, such as a birth certificate, driver’s license or passport. The fee ranges between $71 – $88, but can be reduced to as low as $11 if the couple attends an approved marriage education class. You will present the certificate for this course when you get your marriage license. While some counties may accept card or check payments, many require cash only. Be sure to call your County Clerk’s office ahead of time to confirm what forms of payment they take. 

There is a 72-hour waiting period after getting your license, but it can be waived by a court-order. Active-duty military are exempt from the waiting period. The license is valid for 90 days.

 

Making it Official 

Once you officially say “I do” and it’s time to sign your marriage certificate, you will use your new married name. Your officiant will be responsible to return that marriage license to the County Clerk’s office within 30 days of your wedding and you will receive the official marriage certificate as well as your certified copies by mail.  At that point your marriage certificate will be proof of your name change. You will want to request multiple copies (3 is a safe amount) of the certified marriage license to send to vendors like your insurance company and others that may require it.  

 

Cost to Change Your Name 

There are varying costs, but here are the general expenses you can expect. 

Marriage License — $71 – $88 (or as low as $11 with approved education classes)

Certified Copies of Marriage License — $3-$15 each (based on county)

Passport Update — $110

 

Things to Consider with Changing Your Name

There are other options when it comes to updating your name after your wedding and those include hyphenated names or keeping your maiden name as your middle or second middle name, which are the most common variations. (There is another option where you create an entirely new name.) The benefits of those two options can be in retaining a connection to your old name or even being easier to find on social media. 

 

Places You Need to Change Your Name

1. Social Security Card 

After your certified marriage license is sent to you (or you pick it up), you will want to apply for a name change on your social security card.

Download your application and get more information on this step here. 

 

2. Driver’s License

This will require a trip to the DMV, but you’re married to the love of your life, so it’s worth it! You will want to bring all the required forms of identification which include your current driver’s license, your updated security card and your certified marriage certificate.

 

3. Bank Accounts 

Whether you’re sharing accounts with your spouse or simply changing your own accounts, you’ll want to go into your local branch with your marriage certificate and your newly acquired driver’s license. You will want to request all new checks and/or debit cards with your married name. If you have a mortgage/loan out with this bank, take this opportunity to switch your name on those as well. 

 

4. IRS

A name change can impact your taxes, so it’s important to make sure your tax returns match your Social Security records. 

Find more information on how to change your name with the IRS here. 

Note that part of this process will also include making sure your employer/payroll records have your new name, so that it will be correct on your W-2 and other documents.

 

5. Voter Registration

This one doesn’t come up often, but you don’t want to miss out, so be sure to tackle this one right away. 

Click here to get your voter registration application. 

 

6. Passport

Fortunately, this is a very straightforward process similar to the IRS and voter registration. 

Click here to get detailed passport update instructions from the State Department. 

 

7. Post Office 

To be fair, this is more of a change of address than a change of name, but the likelihood is that you are moving, so let’s cover all our bases. The USPS has made this very simple with an easy online process. 

Click here to learn more. 

Bonus to updating your address? People start to send you amazing coupons because they think you’re new to the area. From Pottery Barn to Office Depot and the local car wash, you’re about to get special offers from all of them. 

We’ll talk about this in the pro tips later, but just a quick reminder that if you’re changing your name, make sure you take time to also update your address where appropriate. 

 

8. Credit Cards

First, you will need to have your name changed on your Social Security card and your driver’s license. Changing your name on your credit card(s) isn’t a difficult process, but it may be time consuming depending on how many cards you have. From typical credit cards like Via and MasterCard to store cards like Ann Taylor and Macy’s — each card issuer may have a slightly different process.

First you will want to look up the name change policy for each credit card. This can be found on their website. This is where you will get the list of required items such as new ID and legal documentation of your name change. Some may require your Social Security card update, which is why you need to tackle your government-issued ID documents first.

The good news is that for some cards, you can do this process entirely online or by mail. There are some unique cards, perhaps from your local bank,etc. that will require you going into a local branch. The best thing is to gather your cards and make a comprehensive list of their policies in advance.

 

Now that we’ve covered the most urgent places to update your name, it’s time to review the rest. There are many, many places your new name needs to be updated that will vary based on your current lifestyle. 

• Insurance companies
• Doctors’ offices
• Car title and/or mortgage/landlord
• School/university 
• Professional or educational associations, clubs and organizations
• Attorney’s offices
• Airlines 
• Electric and utility companies
• Phone, cable and internet companies
• Financial institutions
• Online shopping sites
• Other service providers
• Social media accounts (That may be the most important — am I right?) 
• Printed items like personalized stationary and business cards.

Last, but not least, be sure to update friends and family about your name change. 

 

Letting Friends and Family Know 

While your close friends and immediate family may know about your name change, there’s a lot of people that won’t — and it’s important to get the word out there. 

1. Announce it on social media. 

Update your name on your social media accounts. Even if your handle isn’t your name, the account is under your name. Then have fun and make a post about your new name with an “it’s official” post. Example: “I’m officially Katie Ann Smith now!” Let it reflect your personality, and mainly just have fun! 

The name update alone will help people start using your new moniker. But the post will help bring it to people’s attention as well as give you a reason to keep celebrating your love — bonus! 

2. Share your updated contact information via your phone. 

This is a super easy way to help people start updating their contact information and all you have to do is share it with your contacts after you update it on your phone. 

Here’s a quick tutorial video for the iphone users. 

3. Send out an official announcement — old-school style. 

It’s true! There was a time when it was common for newlywed couples to announce their marriage — including the bride’s name change — and their new location (i.e. what city they would reside in now). 

While you are still very welcome to announce it through your local newspaper, the more effective route would be sending out announcements. This could go to friends and family — especially those that may not have been at the wedding.

You have all the technical information to change your name now, but we’ve got some pro tips to make the process even easier. 

 

Pro Tips 

• Use this guide to make your personalized name-change list and find out how many of these places will require a certified copy of your marriage license, so you will know how many to request. This saves having to order multiple times.
• It’s recommended that you keep your old identification in case you need to prove your previous name. 
• Double, triple, quadruple check the spelling before filing the new name! 
• Don’t do things too early — that could cause logistical issues.
• If you are moving too, be sure to use this opportunity to change your address on things like your driver’s license, insurance, credit card, etc. 
• If you’re traveling internationally for your honeymoon, it’s recommended to keep your maiden name, so you don’t run into any issues with your ticket not matching your official name. 
• Professional help is available if this task seems overwhelming. Companies like I’m a Mrs, HitchSwitch and even Legal Zoom can help you with the process! If you’re working with a planner, consider asking them for recommendations. 

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Whether you’re just engaged or you’re planning your honeymoon, we’re here to simplify your search for great local vendors — and more! Click here to browse the talented vendors in your area.

What better way to make your wedding day even more memorable than with some amazing fireworks? Celebrate your love by adding a wow factor to the festivities with help from Preston Ward, owner of Prestotechnics. Whether you’re looking for a dazzling exit or a show-stopping first dance display, Preston is sharing a behind the scenes look at what you can do to add some sparkle to your big day.

Keep scrolling for our favorite idea which is a brand new fire and ice display—only for the truly daring couples!

Photo // Rachel Elaine Photography

Fireworks can make a great exit backdrop. What other ways can fireworks be used at weddings?

We conduct a lot of displays immediately after the toasts, at a dancing break time or after the first kiss. They are also great for remembering or honoring loved ones. We had one couple who did a show to their grandparent’s wedding song, and one bride who honored her late brother by having them to his favorite song.

What types of fireworks does Prestotechnics offer for weddings?

We offer three different package tiers: classic, premium and custom. They all include the product, show design, set up, clean up and at least two licensed technicians on site. The difference between the classic and premium is height of the effects and size of the fireworks. The premium and custom shows also include music of your choice during the display, for which we bring our own sound system.

With the custom show package we put the bride and/or groom in the driver’s seat, allowing them full customization of the display which is choreographed to music of their choice.

We also offer sparkler fountain exits. We have two different types of sparkler fountains; a machine that can be used indoor and for closer proximity and “gerbs,” which are what you typically think of when thinking of sparkler fountains and the kind that people typically drive the getaway car through. Also, new for 2019, we offer snow machines for exits or first dances. For those more daring, we have a “fire and ice package” where you can get both fireworks and snow!

Is there a fireworks technician on site or are the fireworks handed over to the couple?

We cannot hand fireworks (other than sparklers) over to customers. What you buy from us is the display, no work on your part. We work with the venue, your coordinator, and always send at least two firework technicians to set up and conduct the display in the safest way possible.  Out of an abundance of caution, we always do more than the minimum required.

What venues are you able to shoot fireworks at? What types are you not?

We can do sparkler fountains, spark machines and snow machines at just about any venue. As for aerial fireworks, it depends on the spacing around the venue.  When you get into more urban environments options start to become limited because spacing is tighter, but usually we can work out some kind of option. Recently, there has been advancements in “close proximity” fireworks. Typically, these are used at stadiums, sporting events or indoor productions. These close proximity fireworks have opened up a lot of different venues where spacing used to be an issue. When we use close proximity products the distance requirements go way down, but alternatively the cost goes up.

How far away from the wedding must fireworks be released?

That depends on how big of a firework you want to use. The state requires 70 feet of distance between the audience and the firing site, per inch of the shell. We also look at things like trees, power lines, buildings, roads, etc. For the close proximity fireworks mentioned earlier, that distance goes down to 35 feet. For sparkler fountains it is 15 feet.

What rules regarding pyrotechnics exist that couples aren’t likely to know?

Every display we do, we are required to get a permit from the city, county, state or multiple agencies. We strive to never say no to a bride and make every display happen, but the amount of time it takes to receive a permit is out of our hands. Almost every city and county has a different procedure. Some can take 30 days, while others may only take a few days. Additionally, some cities won’t let us conduct aerial displays after 10 PM in city limits or require us to have the fire department brush truck on site.

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A special thank you to Preston Ward of Prestotechnics for sharing a behind-the-scenes look at how to take a celebration to the next level with a show-stopping display! If you’re interested in making your event one to remember, you can contact the team at Prestotechnics directly through their Brides of North Texas vendor page. 

You don’t have to be a great writer to write great wedding vows. Maybe you’re like a Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation) when it comes to writing your wedding vows — “The first draft of my vows, which I wrote the day after we got engaged, clocked in at around 70 pages.” Or you might be more of a Bella Swan (Twilight) — “When I first learned I was going to write my own vows, I panicked. I looked at the paper for hours, no words coming to mind.” Either way, we have a fail-proof guide that will help you write romantic and authentic wedding vows.

We’re going to start with the origin of vows, give you tips, inspiration — and a step-by-step guide to get started!

Photo // Catie Ann Photography

The Origin of Wedding Vows 

The origin of wedding vows goes back to ancient times. During the Roman Empire, when a bride’s father would “deliver” her to the groom, the couple would agree that they were wed and kept the vow of marriage by mutual agreement. 

The traditional vows we know today that vow “to have and hold from this day forward…” are one of the oldest wedding traditions going back to the medieval times when the Book of Common Prayer was published in 1549. 

There are variations, but they started out like this —

“I (name) take thee (name) to my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.” 

Flash forward to today and couples are blending tradition and culture together with their own unique love story and personality by writing their own vows. 

Myths About Writing Your Wedding Vows 

Don’t let the task of writing your wedding vows intimidate you because of outdated myths about it. Here are some myths that may be stopping you from writing your vows.

1. You have to be a great writer.

Not true. Feel free to quote famous writers, but you don’t have to be one to create beautiful vows. Your wedding vows are about writing what’s in your heart and making promises to someone you are building a life with. It doesn’t need to be perfect — it only needs to be meaningful. Don’t worry about if it’s the greatest thing ever written. 

2. You have to memorize them.

Don’t let the movies or books you’ve seen (while wonderful) make you think you have to know your vows by heart in order for them to be authentic. That’s putting undue pressure on yourself. Reading your own vows during the ceremony is a great way to be in the moment and not worried about remembering your speech in front of a large crowd on one of the biggest days in your life. Plus, that piece of paper or beautiful notebook becomes a keepsake for your family in generations to come. 

3. You have to do them by yourself — or it’s not authentic or romantic. 

This is a sneaky one because it is important that the vows come from your heart and your perspective, but there’s no shame in getting help making sure you clearly communicate what you’re feeling. This help could come from friends or family — or it could come from a professional wedding vow writer. That’s right. There are wedding vow writers that help you take what you’re feeling and craft something epic, if that’s important to you. 

4. You can’t have traditional vows and write your own. 

Traditional vows, especially ones that are intrinsic to the ceremony, can be beautiful and even necessary in some cultures or venues. But that doesn’t mean you can’t create your own personal messages with promises to each other during the ceremony. This can come at the beginning of the ceremony or even after the traditional vows just before the pronouncement.

Wedding Vow Inspiration

Even the most skilled poet needs inspiration and the same is true for you when writing your own vows. Before you can start writing your wedding vows you’ll want to look for inspiration. 

Here’s a great example of what writing your wedding vows can look like. 

Videographer: Transform Visuals

(Click here to watch more examples of couples sharing their vows on our Youtube channel.) 

On-Screen Wedding Vows

We’ve talked about how you don’t have to be a good writer to write good vows, but there’s no harm in pulling from your favorite on-screen (or page) couples for inspiration — or even to directly quote.

Here are some sample wedding vows from on-screen (or page) weddings and what inspiration you can take from them.  

Paige and Leo (The Vow)  

Inspiration: Make real promises both serious and silly that reflect your love and relationship.

Paige —  I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not, to agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.

Leo — I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once-in-a-lifetime love. And to always know in the deepest part of my soul that no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find our way back to each other.

 

Julian and Brooke (One Tree Hill)

Inspiration: Tell them how they have changed your life and why you love them. 

Julian — Brooke, before I met you I thought my world had everything I needed to be happy. I had nothing else to compare it to, then you walked into my life and everything changed. I realized how empty my world was without you in it, and my old life was no longer capable of making me happy … not without you. I love everything about you, Brooke. I love the way you challenged me like no one ever has. I love the way you look at me like no one ever has, and I love the way you love me like no one ever has. I can’t imagine spending my life without you, and if you say “yes” to me in a few minutes, I won’t have to. You look beautiful by the way. 

Brooke — Julian, before I met you my world revolved around one thing … me. And I like it that way — on my own, but then I met you and you saw through the facade. You saw me. You’ve taught me to trust, how to let someone in, and what it truly means to fall in love. I can’t possibly describe how much I love you, so I’ll tell you why I love you. You see the world in a way that no one else does and you appreciate  everything, including me. There’s no one in the world like you, and if you say “yes” in a few minutes, I’ll get to spend the rest of my life trying to see the world through your eyes, appreciating everything, including you … the most unique, wonderful, and terribly handsome man I have ever met. 

 

Leslie and Ben (Parks and Recreation)

Inspiration: Allow each other to create vows that reflect your unique personalities and perspectives. They don’t have to match. 

Ben — In my time working for the state government, my job sent me to 46 cities in 11 years. I lived in villages with eight people, rural farming communities, college towns. I was sent to every corner of Indiana. And then I came here, and I realized that this whole time I was just wandering around everywhere, just looking for you.

Leslie — The things that you have done for me, to help me, support me, surprise me, to make me happy, go above and beyond what any person deserves. You’re all I need. I love you and I like you.

Ben — I love you and I like you.

 

Phoebe and Mike (Friends)

Inspiration: Let your quirkiness shine through and don’t try to fit a fancy mold — just be your authentic self.

Phoebe — When I was growing up, I didn’t have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I’m standing here today, knowing that I have everything I’m ever gonna need. You are my family.

Mike — Phoebe, you are so beautiful. You’re so kind, you’re so generous, you’re so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure. I can’t believe how lucky I am, and I can’t wait to share my life with you forever.

Phoebe — Oh wait, I forgot! And, um…I love you. And you have nice eyes.

Mike — I love you too.

 

Topanga and Cory (Boy Meets World) 

Inspiration: Recount your love story, reflect on the obstacles you’ve overcome, and share your hopes for the future.

Topanga — I wasn’t sure this day would ever come, but you were. I wasn’t sure love could survive everything we put it through, but you were. You were always strong and always sure. And now I know I want you to stand beside me for the rest of my life. That’s what I’m sure of.

Cory — Ever since I was young I never understood anything about the world, and I never understood anything that happened in my life. The only thing that ever made sense to me was you, and how I felt about you. That’s all I’ve ever known, and that’s enough, that’s enough for me, for the rest of my life.

 

(This list wouldn’t be complete without some of the most romantic confessions in literature. While they are technically proposals, it’s great vow inspiration!)

Pride and Prejudice (Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet)

Inspiration: Let the great writers of history be your partner. If a quote or passage from a story reflects how you feel, quote it and let it help you speak from your heart. 

Mr. Darcy on when he first fell in love with Elizabeth (Book) — I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.

Mr. Darcy (Screenplay) — You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. And wish from this day forth never to be parted from you.

Anne of Green Gables (Anne to Gilbert) 

Inspiration: Use your previous conversations or shared history to add extra meaning to your vows. 

Anne quoting herself from a previous conversation— I don’t want diamond sunbursts or marble halls. I just want you.

A Guide for Writing Your Wedding Vows

Now that you’ve been inspired, it’s time to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) to start writing! 

While each person’s vows are unique to them and their story, here is a guide to get you started. The result from this simple prompt will be authentic, meaningful content to create your own beautiful wedding vows. 

Remember, this doesn’t have to be long or fancy, just write what comes to mind. 

1. Write down your love story.
2. Write down what the moment was that you first knew you loved them. 
3. Write down the greatest blessing(s) having them in your life has brought you.
4. Write down three things that you love most about them. 
5. Write down one reason you want to marry them. 
6. Write down why you want to go through life together with them.
7. Write down what you hope to bring to their life. 
8. Describe how you feel about building a life with them.
9. Describe how you see going through life together. 
10. Look back at what you’ve written and write three promises (or vows) that show your commitment to making that a reality. 

This will help you get a general structure to your vows. You’ll start to see a theme and be able to pick the most important elements out. Even if you would love to get professional help, this will be invaluable information to do that as well.

Pro Tips to Keep You On Track

• Consider your venue restrictions before writing your vows. Some places require certain traditional vows, but may allow a personalization before or after the official vows. Talk to your venue or wedding planner for confirmation. 
• It’s not recommended to write your wedding vows together with your significant other, but do talk about expectations. You don’t want to have a five-minute monologue on one side and a single sentence on another. 
• If you want professional help writing, your wedding planner is a great source of help to either find a professional writer or to give you feedback directly. 
• Read your vows aloud to see how long they are, and be sure to practice before the big day. 
• Don’t leave this task until the last minute. Tweaks and changes are fine, but it’s best to have this ready in advance. A month to two weeks before the big day is a great timeline for having the finished product. 
• Start gathering inspiration now, do the writing prompt, and let that simmer for a while before you start writing. 

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For more inspiration on wedding vows, check out our real couples’ wedding videos on our YouTube Channel to see how different couples tackled this task. Happy writing! 

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A seamless wedding design that is cohesive from start to finish is a truly beautiful thing — and it’s exactly what Whitney Bailey, owner and lead coordinator of Engaged Events, specializes in creating! Get a behind-the-scenes look at the design process for Whitney and her talented team and learn how they create those seamless designs. Keep scrolling to see some of the prettiest mood boards you’ve ever seen!

Photos // Jen Symes Photography 

The Planning Process

“Our planning process is customized and modified for each client. We use an organized online planning platform and give access to our clients so that we can instantly be connected at all times. I love the connections I make between my clients, but also creating an event that represents who they are as a couple.”

An Inside Look at the Design

“Our client wanted her wedding to feel like a classic, traditional and outdoor garden. We used her custom monogram and invitation details throughout the wedding to make the design feel cohesive.”

Creating a Cohesive Look

“I find certain elements whether it be a certain color, texture or theme and implement them in the design of the wedding. Most of my inspiration comes from wedding blogs, local magazines and all platforms of social media. I find certain elements whether it be a certain color, texture or theme and implement them in the design of the wedding.”

Love and Logistics

“I love all the logistics in planning, but I also like to have fun with my couple! This is someone I will be working with for the next year, so it’s important to connect from the beginning.”

 

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A special thank you to Engaged Events owner and lead coordinator, Whitney Bailey for giving us an inside look at how to create a cohesive look for your wedding or special event as well as taking us along in her process. To get Whitney and her talented team’s expert design work on your big day, you can contact her directly through her Brides of North Texas vendor profile.

Wedding planning can be fraught with awkward situations from dealing with vendor communications to etiquette issues with the bridal party. You just want to get married and have everyone be happy in the process, which is why we have enlisted wedding planner extraordinaire, Katie Frost of Katie Frost Weddings. Keep scrolling to read her answers on how to handle the most awkward wedding planning situations! (Get ready to feel less stressed and enjoy the planning process more too!) 

Photo // Wild Garden Photography

What do I do if I’m having trouble hearing back from my vendors?

Love this question! Always try to have the mindset of giving grace. A lot of vendors spend a lot of time working outside of their emails so responding can take a few days. If you are consistently not hearing back from them, politely explain that you would like more communication with your vendor and give them the opportunity to explain their work style. This right here is crucial, especially when you’re meeting your vendor for the first time.

Always, always, always have the discussion of expectations and how that vendor communicates and the timelines of their responses. I work with a lot of bakers that I personally won’t hear from for weeks because they don’t have the time to sit at a computer constantly, I’ll always take the repercussions from the bride to make sure it doesn’t reflect poorly on the vendor. I know we all work hard and sometimes this industry is a beast. Having grace with everyone you work with will go so far!

How do I politely request children not to attend? Is that okay?

Absolutely! Your wedding is your day! You can do whatever you want. As far as requesting this goes, politely put it on your invitation that this is an adult reception only. You can also reiterate it on your wedding website with more detail: This is an adult wedding only, while we love your kiddos we want you to enjoy the night without any worries!

How do I handle that awkward, “Can I bring a date?” question?

Just be honest! Honesty goes so far. Tell them that you can only invite so many guests to your wedding, and unfortunately you don’t have room for every guest to have a plus one.

Tips for selecting friends to be in the bridal party?

Be honest with yourself on this one. Who do you want by your side on your wedding day. Leave out the politics of who has had you in theirs, your new hubby’s sister-in-law, etc. Those spots next to you should be cherished and should be reflected that way. You’ll spend so many hours with these women – make sure they are the best of the best. The ones that will lift you up, be a constant encouragement, a shoulder to cry on, judgment free friends! Oh, I can’t tell you the stories of the brides that have had to kick out bridal party members because they made it about themselves or wanted to put the bride down. Don’t let that be you, even if that means you only have two solid girls standing next to you, if they are the right girls, it’ll be the best decision you’ve made! More isn’t always better.

What should the bridal party expect to pay for?

This is a tough one, but again be honest. If you can’t afford to pay for their hair and make up, plus their jewelry, plus the dress, plus the shoes, then let them know upfront. Some girls may not be able to afford to be a part of your wedding and that’s okay, but they need to know what they are responsible for before committing to be apart of your crew. Otherwise, be prepared to help cover those costs if it’s a deal breaker. What they need to pay for is completely up to you and your budget. If you want to pay for everything, amazing! If you can only pay for their jewelry, perfectly okay! Don’t ever let what you can cover make you feel bad. It’s an honor to be by your side, and odds are they are just excited to be a part of your big day!

My friend is planning a bachelor/bachelorette party I will hate – what do I do?

Tell her! If you think it’s going to be a huge flop and something not up your alley, let her know! The only way they can make it better and more you is by having that hard conversation. Sure it may not feel good at the moment, but if you want to have a good time, you have to be honest. Otherwise, you may end up resenting that friend that poured their heart into making something they thought would be a blast for you.

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A very special thank you to Katie Frost of Katie Frost Weddings for sharing expert tips on how to handle all those awkward wedding planning issues. For Katie’s help successfully navigating the planning process — and having the wedding of your dreams – you can contact her directly through her Brides of North Texas vendor profile.

Every couple would love to have a dream wedding and even though they all might look different, they have the same idea — to tell the couple’s story and reflect who they are through all the details of the day. This is where House of Tales Events founder and creative director, Maya Jareou, shines! She pulls from her world travels and experience to tell her client’s stories through every little detail that she designs. Today, she’s giving us a behind the scenes look at how she brings dream weddings to life!

Photos // Jen Symes Photography

Their Planning Process

“I listen  to my client’s story, visions and dreams. Then we go back to the drawing board and start creating a unique wedding design that reflects the client’s true vision and personality. I always introduce my flare for creative ideas by bringing color and textured swatches, decor items, inspiration, etc. After the couple approves the mood board, then the final step is the reveal of life design prototypes to showcase a glimpse of our design life to our client.”

One Charger, Many Looks

“It really stems from my rule of thumb for design, playing with different design elements, textures, colors that I then tie together all with one common and simple element, to complete and enhance the finished look. It was no different here. I focused on one classic and universal element – ‘the gold rammed charger’ – and then cultivated it into four different designs, that brings four different emotions. I truly wanted to capture the bride’s four stages of emotions when she is planning her wedding in these looks, more than anything else.

We have the excitement and thrills of announcing engagements, and that shows in the jewels and vibrant colored look, followed by capturing the emotions of happiness, positivity to start their planning journey, by adding yellows and mustard elements in the 2nd look. Our 3rd look I wanted to translate the pure and serene love, that the bride feels with her mom and girls when she puts her white wedding dress on for the first time, with whites, ivory and champagne colors in the designed look. I then wanted to capture our finale look by transient the romantic and dreamy emotions of the wedding day, by adding the mauves, blushes and pinks as the final stage of the journey.”

Why They Do What They Do

“Where do I begin? I’m passionate about people and their stories. I absolutely love seeing the reactions of my couple’s faces when they see my mood board comes to life on their wedding day. That emotion is a pure joy of mine and honesty is the core drive for me at the end.”

Their Source of Inspiration

“My main inspiration comes from travel, experience, different cultures, food, fashion, music, languages, historical castles, palaces, especially Versaille, linen textures, shapes, colors, nature, people and anything that has an emotion to it.”

What Couples Can Expect

“Devotion, eye for details, a full team of professional creative partners, creative mind, 10+ years experience in event production, ethics, punctuality, problem-solving skills, not to mention friendship, and laughter.”

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Thank you for Maya Jareou, founder and creative director at House of Tales Events, for sharing a behind the scenes look at how they bring dream weddings to life! If you would like to learn more about working with House of Tales Events on your big day, you can contact Maya directly through her Brides of North Texas vendor profile.

Your venue. It’s the first thing on your mind when you start planning your wedding. Never fear! Ashley Love of Ashton Gardens  is here to help you successfully find your wedding venue, plus she shares a behind-the-scenes look at what makes Ashton Gardens so special. Keep scrolling to read her tips on the most important questions to ask each venue and what you should have ready when you start planning.

Photo // MaggShots Photography

What questions do couples need to ask a venue before booking?

“What’s included?” or “What’s not included?”  The questions seem similar but are very different. At a venue like Ashton Gardens, we have so much included in the price that it’s a lot easier to ask what’s not included. At a venue that doesn’t offer all-inclusive amenities, you need to know what you’re responsible for. They’re such simple questions but they have the ability to check so many things off a bride’s to do list.

When should a couple book their wedding venue?

This really depends on the couple’s flexibility with their event date or time of year. Some dates are claimed over a year in advance. A good example in 2020 is October 10th. 10/10/2020 was booked a year and half out. If there’s a little give in when couples prefer to host their big day, the potential to find something that works perfectly is definitely more likely.

What information does a couple need to know before booking their venue?

It never hurts to have an approximate budget when venue shopping. The great thing about reputable venues is that they understand that when you’re just starting your wedding planning, everything is super tentative and that details change a lot. Aside from having a date, it’s a good idea to have a ballpark estimate of guests, just to make sure the venue can accommodate the guest count, as well as the payment schedule for their venue.

What’s one piece of advice you give to all your couples?

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Weddings are supposed to be fun and memory making events so try to remember the bigger picture. As long as you leave, married to the person you love, that’s what matters.

Tell us about Ashton Gardens.

Ashton Gardens DFW will celebrate its 10th Anniversary in July 2020, and we couldn’t be more thankful for all of the support we’ve received over the years. We’ve gone through changes and renovations and have really made it our priority to give the couples what they want: Exclusive use of the venue, updated menu options and fresh bar selections. We pride ourselves on being the classic venue that offers an indoor/outdoor feel without the stress of needing a plan B and through our staff, we continue to share how special our venue is on a daily basis. We are so proud of our product and can’t wait to see that 2020 has in store for us!

What amenities does Ashton Gardens offer that makes it unique?

When I think of the things that make us unique, the first thing that comes to mind is our wrap-around, floor to ceiling windows in our chapel and ballroom that features our private forest. You get an outdoor feeling without the stress of the Texas weather. We also love our winding, timber pergola that connects our chapel and ballroom, dazzling ballroom chandeliers and our stunning grand staircase, perfect for our newlywed’s special entrance.

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A special thank you to Ashley Love of Ashton Gardens for sharing her venue insights with our readers. If you would love to get more information on hosting your wedding or event at Ashton Gardens, visit their Brides of North Texas vendor profile for more details.

Sarah Kee is the lead wedding and event planner at Keestone Events in Dallas and today she’s giving us a behind the scenes look at the work she and her fellow designers at this award-winning design boutique create at local bridal boutique Grace Loves Lace. They believe that every event is as unique as the story it celebrates, which is why they approach each event with a fresh outlook. From lavish affairs with 400 guests to intimate destination weddings with 50 close friends and family — they love it all! Keep reading to find out if Sarah and her talented team at Keestone Events are the right fit for you!

Photos // Jen Symes Photography

Their Planning Process

“Each of our planners will only take on a few events a year as it’s our goal to focus on a quality experience. We also embrace technology where we can to make things more efficient for our couples, who have varied and busy schedules. This works especially well for those who are constantly swamped with work and live out-of-state, knowing that someone is consistently working on planning their wedding for them, behind the scenes.

Each year, we take on a very limited number of destination weddings. We have planned events in the surrounding areas of Texas like Austin and Houston, to other states like New Orleans to other countries like Cabo, Mexico, and Bali, Indonesia.”

Their Team

“I couldn’t be prouder or more thankful for the incredible group of women who make up our boutique company. They are so smart, funny, efficient and capable. I can easily throw in fifty more adjectives to describe these ladies but will (just barely) refrain. Our backgrounds range from social catering managers at prominent hotels to a general manager at a venue to various managerial roles from advertising to supply chain. What we all have in common though, is that we’re big fans of details and have found a calling in this industry.”

What Couples Can Expect

“We have the mindset to treat others as you expect to be treated, and approach each consultation with warmth and professionalism. We pride ourselves on our efficiency and our clients have always been very appreciative at the level of detail we go into and how thorough we are with our spreadsheets and notes.

It’s about getting to know the clients and learning more about the details are meaningful to them. Drawing from their stories is always refreshing since no one couple is ever the same. We then try to incorporate those details subtly into various aspects of their wedding.

Many of our couples hire us because they like our portfolio of work along with the level of detail we go into. We are more than just a planning company and often come up with color palettes and design options for clients. For instance, with our Design Board, we come up with as many ideas we can think of that will suit the couple’s tastes. From there, whatever said couple would like to move forward with is what we will bring to life!”

A Unique Service They Offer

 “Wedding dress shopping is an additional service that we offer. Some brides have wanted us to assist in finding a dress that is cohesive with the design of their wedding, while others have friends and family who don’t live in the area. That’s where we come in and help fill that gap.”

They Love What They Do — And They Love Dogs Too

“We mean it when we say that we are so fortunate to have met some of the best people. Some of our previous brides have enjoyed their planning process enough to become planners with us, which is the biggest compliment. Also, we all love dogs!

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A special thank you to Sarah, lead wedding and event planner at Keestone Events for giving us a behind the scenes look at their wedding planning process — and their sweet dog, Millie, too! If you’d love to learn more about getting the talented planners from Keestone Events to help you with your nuptials, you can contact them directly from their Brides of North Texas vendor profile.

Wedding planners, makeup artists, venue coordinators, waitstaff, valet — and the list goes on. Who do you tip, and when and how, for that matter? We’ve got the answers to all your questions about tipping wedding vendors. This complete guide will make it easy to check these off your wedding planning list and drive off into the sunset with your spouse without wondering if you did everything right.

Photo // Stephanie Brazzle Photography

Vendor Tipping Etiquette

When it comes to tipping your wedding vendors, not all vendors (and situations) are equal. What that means is that some vendors expect to be tipped, like your makeup artist, and others don’t require it, but would appreciate the gesture, like your musicians, and others still that build that cost into their contract with you. For example, some vendors will need to be tipped and others will give a service charge. Not to confuse the matter, but a service charge by one vendor — your caterer, for example, doesn’t mean you don’t need to tip the delivery person or even the wait staff.

Here is what you need to successfully navigate the tipping process:

1. Have a plan in place.

Go through this complete list of wedding vendors and determine who all you need, or at least may need to tip. If you have a wedding planner, this is a task they can provide invaluable help with, so be sure to check with your planner if you want extra help. Once you determine who is on the list for tipping, you’ll want to have a plan for when and how to get them their tip. For some vendors, it’s upon delivery, at the end of the night, or even after the honeymoon.

Remember to have the cash or checks prepared in advance for vendors being tipped on the day of the wedding.

2. Check your contracts.

Vendors such as reception staff, caterers and venues who are providing day-of management, among others, often put service charges or gratuity in the contract. Be sure to go through all your contracts to determine where that may already be covered.

3. Put this in the wedding budget.

Depending on how many vendors you have, the tips could add up, so it’s important to include this cost in your budget. Because tipping can also be somewhat spontaneous based on excellent service, try to add a little padding in your budget, if possible, for the option. You don’t want to get to the event day and try to scramble to tip someone. A little budgeting can stop that stress.

4. You don’t need to tip business owners. (But when to make the exception.)

Traditionally, you do not need tip business owners. There are exceptions to this in the case of photographers who are both the owner and the service provider. In those cases, you may want to make the exception.

5. Reward excellent service.

Ultimately, tipping is about rewarding excellent service, not feeling compelled. There is propriety and then there’s undue guilt. The goal is to be thoughtful of the type of service that is being provided, to be aware of how different service providers make their money, and give financial recompense appropriately.

Excellent service is when vendors go above and beyond the agreed-upon terms — this can be before, during or after the wedding, so keep that in mind.

6. Put someone in charge.

This may be multiple people or one person, but someone needs to be in charge of dispersing tips during the wedding day — as well as before or after, as needed. If you have a planner or day-of coordinator, they are the person you will want to designate as tip czar. They can wrangle wedding party members, family or their assistant to ensure every vendor is appropriately tipped. If you don’t have a planner, think through the day and the process — and enlist your wedding party or family to help with different vendors. The main point — don’t try to do this yourself because you have a lot on your plate that day.

A Comprehensive Vendor Tip List

Below is your comprehensive wedding vendor tip list. It’s important to keep in mind that this is based on the common etiquette practice and average amounts given. Each event is unique and your tipping amounts will be unique to you based on the service each vendor provides. This is simply here as a guide to help you successfully navigate the process.

 

Wedding Planner / Coordinator or Designer

Protocol: Optional. If they go above and beyond, you can give a tip or a small gift of appreciation.

Tip: 10-20% of fee.

When to give: At the end of the event or after your honeymoon.

 

Alterations

Protocol: Optional, but encouraged for a job well done or service above and beyond.

Tip: $15-$30

When to give: Given after services rendered.

 

Wedding Photographer and Videographer

Protocol: Optional. If the photographer owns their own business, you aren’t required to tip business owners, but if they are part of a larger organization, it is encouraged that you tip them. And while a tip for owners is not expected, it is nice, especially since these vendors will be working on your photos/video long after the day is over.

Tip: $50-$200 depending on the extent of the job.

When to give: At the end of the event.

 

Delivery / Setup

Protocol: Expected

Tip: Anywhere from $5 to $10 per person.

When: Given upon delivery or in the case of set up or tear down, at the end of the event.

 

Wedding Hairstylist and Make-up Artists

Protocol: Expected

Tip: Similar to a salon experience, 15-20% of the total.

When: Given after services rendered.

 

Wedding Ceremony Musicians

Protocol: Optional

Tip: Anywhere from $15-$20 per musician.

When: At the end of the ceremony.

 

Wedding Officiant

Protocol: Optional, but a gift of some amount is always nice here. This will vary depending on whether or not you are married by a minister, if you did premarital counseling with them, or if they are a friend.

Tip: A $100-$500 donation to the church or religious institution and $50-$100 given to the minister directly. If you are married by a friend or general officiant, the $50-$100 is still acceptable.

When: This is done before the ceremony, but if there aren’t explicit requirements, this can also be done after the ceremony.

 

Wedding Venue Coordinator / Catering Manager

Protocol: Expected, but review your contract as a service charge or gratuity may already be built-in.

Tip: 15-20% of the food or drink fee or $200-$500.

When: Based on your contract, this is often required in the final bill that is due before the wedding. This is also acceptable after the reception if the contract doesn’t require pre-payment.

 

Wedding Wait Staff

Protocol: Expected, though tipping expectations should be included in your contract.

Tip: Anywhere from $10-$20 per person is average.

When: Given at the end of the event or after services rendered.

 

Bartender

Protocol: Expected, but make sure you know if they will be accepting tips from guests because that can take the place of any tip you give them. This also may be included in your catering tip if you are getting both services from the same provider or your venue.

Tip: 10-15% of the pre-tax bar bill.

When: Given at the end of the event or after services rendered.

 

Attendants (Coatroom / Valet)

Protocol: Expected

Tip: Anywhere from $1-$2 per guest for attendants or the same per car for valet.

When: Given at the end of the event.

 

Entertainment (Band or DJ)

Protocol: Optional, but encouraged.

Tip: $25-$35 per musician or $50-$150 for DJs.

When: Given at the end of the event.

 

Transportation

Protocol: Expected

Tip: 15-20% of the total bill.

When: Given after services rendered, usually after the final ride, so couples would generally need to be prepared to give this tip directly.

 

Tipping Details to Keep in Mind

One exception to this list is business owners. If you were very pleased with the service and would like to tip a business owner (especially those who also render the service as well as own the business) general tips for owners are around $100 or a small gift. If they have an assistant, $50-$75 is average.

Keep in mind that many vendors want to leave after the services have been rendered, so you won’t be able to settle up at the end of the evening with everyone. This is where having a plan in place of who to tip and when will come in handy.

 

Additional Ways to “Tip”

Other vendors such as your calligrapher, florist, baker, invitation designer, rental company and so on might not be vendors you traditionally tip, however, every vendor appreciates kind words — especially positive reviews online.

Leave a positive review online.

It’s a good rule of thumb to be sure and leave a positive review on Google, on their social media pages or their website. This is a great way to help other couples know what a wonderful job they did for you! And since many wedding vendors are small business owners or entrepreneurs, this is invaluable.

Write them a personal thank-you note.

Your wedding vendors put a lot of thought and care into making your dream day come to life. Whether or not they are traditionally tipped, consider writing a personalized thank-you note to them for all their time and help.

Give them a gift.

Again, for the vendors that aren’t traditionally tipped, such as a wedding planner, a gift is a wonderful alternative to say thank you and let them know you appreciate all their hard work.

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Now that you know all the tipping etiquette, you’re ready to find your perfect wedding vendors. We’re here to simplify your search with another comprehensive list of the best local wedding vendors — available to you right here.